I’ve played enough video games to understand the basic formula. For some reason you have to collect coins, weapons or some form of gem. But apparently, in Lesbian Simulator, you collect carabiners.
I am already sold.
Dutch queer artist and director Iris van der Meule has created an interactive virtual-reality experience that drops players into an exaggerated, colorful and surprisingly thoughtful version of lesbian life.
And before anybody panics, no, this isn’t Grand Theft Auto: U-Haul City.
Although I would absolutely play that.
Lesbian Simulator is actually doing something much more interesting. It uses gaming, humor and immersive storytelling to help people experience both the joy of being queer and the discrimination lesbians can encounter simply existing in public.
Welcome to Lesbian Simulator
The experience lasts about 40 minutes, and you don’t have to be queer to participate. Actually, straight people may be among the people who need to play it most.
Players begin by creating their own lesbian avatar. You choose things like your character’s appearance, hairstyle and outfit before entering a colorful virtual world under the guidance of a heavenly Lesbian Goddess, voiced by Dutch actress Hanna van Vliet.
From there, your virtual lesbian life begins.
You explore your sexuality.
You make queer friends.
You come out.
You go on dates.
You search for a partner.
You attend a lesbian rave.
Eventually, you make your way toward Pride.
Basically, they condensed approximately five years of sapphic personal development into 40 minutes.
Efficient.
Unfortunately, the experience doesn’t only give players the cute parts.
You can also encounter homophobia, public disapproval, sexual harassment and aggressive men.
Because apparently even virtual lesbians can’t get one peaceful date.
The Story Came From Something Very Real
The humor surrounding Lesbian Simulator shouldn’t obscure why van der Meule created it.
She is a lesbian herself.
Van der Meule has explained that growing up in the Netherlands gave her an interesting perspective on LGBTQ+ acceptance. On paper, the country appears extraordinarily progressive.
Same-sex couples can marry. Queer people have legal protections. But being legally accepted and feeling completely safe in public aren’t necessarily the same thing.
After coming out, van der Meule noticed people treating her differently when she showed affection toward her partner in public. She has described experiencing harassment and even an incident involving someone on a scooter while she was holding her girlfriend’s hand.
Then she told her supportive parents what had been happening.
They were shocked.
And that’s when something clicked.
People can genuinely support LGBTQ+ rights while having absolutely no idea what LGBTQ+ people encounter during ordinary life.
So she decided to put them inside it.
Virtually, at least.
One Scene Literally Makes You Say “I’m Gay”
This might be my favorite part of the entire concept.
At one point in the experience, the player has to actually say: “I’m gay.”
Out loud.
Van der Meule explained that the moment can’t recreate the real consequences someone might face when coming out. But requiring a participant to physically say the words creates a little nervousness and awkwardness that clicking a button couldn’t reproduce.
That’s smart.
Because VR can do something a movie, article or Instagram infographic can’t. It can make you participate.
You aren’t watching somebody come out.
You’re doing it.
You aren’t simply hearing about somebody being judged for holding another woman’s hand.
You’re placed inside a world designed to make you feel that scrutiny.
Obviously, wearing a headset for 40 minutes cannot teach somebody exactly what it’s like to be a lesbian.
Let’s not get carried away.
I cannot put on VR goggles and emerge with 15 years of somebody else’s lived experience. But the technology can make abstract conversations feel a little more personal.
And sometimes that’s where empathy starts.
But Thank God It’s Not 40 Minutes of Lesbian Trauma
This is where van der Meule made a decision I really appreciate.
Early in development, she focused heavily on discrimination and homophobia.
Then she realized something:
Actual queer people are going to play this too.
And baby, we already know homophobia exists.
Imagine paying for an immersive experience only to spend 40 minutes getting virtually harassed.
Absolutely not.
Refund.
So van der Meule expanded the experience to include what makes queer life worth celebrating in the first place: friendship, attraction, community, Pride, humor, flirting and love.
That balance matters.
Queer storytelling has spent decades explaining our pain to straight audiences. Sometimes I want the story where the lesbian is simply having a fantastic night.
Give her a drink.
Give her a girlfriend.
Give her a carabiner.
Yes, There Is a Lesbian Ranking System
Speaking of carabiners…
Throughout the experience, players can earn them as points. The more you explore and interact with the virtual world, the more you collect.
At the end, your score determines your Lesbian Rank.
This is ridiculous.
I love it.
Because if you’re going to create an educational VR project about discrimination, you might as well give us something to compete over.
Imagine losing to your straight friend.
No.
Restart the headset.
But underneath the joke is a smart design choice. The scoring system encourages players to explore instead of rushing through the experience. It also gives people something to discuss after they remove the headset.
That conversation is part of the point.
The Visual World Isn’t Trying to Look Real
Lesbian Simulator doesn’t attempt photorealism. Instead, the world is deliberately bright, wobbly, cartoonish and sketch-like.
Van der Meule developed much of the aesthetic by drawing directly in VR, using the technology almost like a three-dimensional sketchbook. That gives her freedom to visually exaggerate emotions.
In one restaurant scene, for example, holding your partner’s hand causes the environment around you to feel enormous. It’s meant to recreate that uncomfortable feeling of suddenly becoming hyperaware that people might be watching you.
That’s clever storytelling.
You don’t need a narrator explaining:
“This lesbian currently feels uncomfortable.”
The environment makes you feel it instead.
Lesbian Simulator Has Already Hit Major Festivals
This isn’t some experimental game sitting on somebody’s laptop waiting to be discovered.
Lesbian Simulator had its world premiere at IDFA 2025, where it appeared in the DocLab immersive program and VR Gallery. It was subsequently selected for SXSW 2026. It also appeared at London’s Raindance immersive program in June 2026. And Dutch audiences have another opportunity coming almost immediately.
Kaylah’s Take
I’ll admit it. When I first heard Lesbian Simulator, I laughed. Because that title sounds like something you’d find buried deep inside Steam at 2 a.m. Then I actually looked into it. And I love the idea.
Not because I think straight people are going to wear a headset for 40 minutes and suddenly understand everything about being queer.
They won’t.
But there is something powerful about getting someone to participate instead of observe.
Say you’re gay.
Hold her hand.
Notice people staring.
Deal with harassment.
Then find your people.
Dance.
Flirt.
Go to Pride.
Experience community.
That last part is just as important as everything before it. Because being lesbian isn’t simply surviving homophobia.
There is joy here.
There is ridiculous flirting.
There are friendships that become family.
There are first dates.
There are terrible first dates.
There is Pride.
There is community.
There is that moment when you walk into a room full of queer women and realize you don’t have to explain yourself.
If virtual reality can communicate even a fraction of that feeling to somebody who has never experienced it? Put the headset on them. And if they finish with a higher Lesbian Rank than me?
We’re fighting.
Virtually, of course.
Stay in the DinMag Universe
From lesbian culture and queer gaming to AI, VR, dating and whatever technology decides to make gay next, DinMag.com is following the places LGBTQ+ life and digital culture collide.
Subscribe to DinMag for sapphic stories that don’t treat queer women like an afterthought. Because apparently we’ve entered the era where you can simulate lesbian life in virtual reality.
The future is gay.
And somebody remembered the carabiner.
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