So you want to be in love huh?

To everyone out there that is as tired of hearing women say…

                         “I’m done playing games, I want the real thing”

…as I am and to the women out there that are tired of saying it, this one is for YOU. I am not writing to show you how to identify if your woman loves you because every woman is unique and shows love in their own way. I am however, going to give you a few pointers on how to make sure you get the type of love that you’re truly longing for.

Everyone wants to be in love. Everyone wants that special someone to let them know they are not alone. Everyone wants the kind of relationship they see in the movies or on TV, and well, we all want it to last. While merely half of us know who we are, what we want, or how to go about getting it, even less than those few are certain we would be able to handle that type of love if it happened to swing our way.

You say you’re tired of all the lying, cheating, and for lack of a better phrase, the bull shit? Let’s be honest here, those things will not find their way out of your life until you stop allowing yourself to let them in. In order for that to happen, you must first know yourself inside and out.

What are you good at? What are you bad at? What do you want for now and for your future? What do you like? What don’t you like? What are you intolerant of? Where are your strengths? Where are your weaknesses? Do you take more than you give? Are your priorities set and in order? Are you really where you want to be at this point in your life? What do you have to offer your partner? What does your partner need to be able to offer you? Is what should be in your past presently a part of your life and if so what about it is still needed and why? Have you done and seen all you wanted before settling down?

There are easily 20 more questions that knowing the answers to are extremely pertinent before your quest for real love can begin with the possibility of a successful outcome. Out of them all the most important question to be answered is, if your true love was to come into your life today at this very moment in time are you absolutely positively sure that not only are you ready to have it but do you also posses the knowhow it takes to be able to hold on to such a commitment?

We tend to forget that love entails much more than all the good we see that stems from it. Yes love is happiness, its patient and kind, gentle and passionate, promising and comforting, sharing and understanding, but best of all it’s a beautiful through thick and thin bond that lasts lifelong. Now here’s where things start to get trippy. Each one of these words that are associated with being in love has its own contradiction. So yes, love can also be miserable, impatient and cruel, reckless and indifferent, it can be hopeless and distressing, selfish and misinterpreted, but worst of all the through thick and thin agreement can be taken advantage of and the bond might not hold strong enough on both ends for it to not break. I’m not one for bad mouthing the most beautiful experience that life has to offer but I had to make sure that before taking finding love into consideration, you are all completely aware of its possibilities. It takes two to be in love otherwise you’re just trapped in the misery of trying to love someone that isn’t going to love you the way you want to be loved.
Unfortunately on your quest of finding true love, you are going to encounter both the good and bad sides of it all. However if you are fortunate enough to know and or accept all that is possible during your travels, it will make the journey much smoother and 10 times more rewarding when you finally reach your destination. It’s kind of like cheating your way to getting a 100 on a test as opposed to actually putting forth the effort to study and achieve that same grade. It gives you something to pride yourself in knowing that not only are you capable, but you’re also worthy and deserving of the results. This is to not be confused that if in the end it doesn’t work out then those are the results you deserve, because some things just aren’t meant to be no matter how bad you want it or how hard you try. The point is to aid in identifying the difference between an opened and honest love, and a standoff type uncertain thing that some call love.

As I stated earlier my aim is not to imply ways for you to tell if your woman truly loves you or not, however I am offering a few guidelines to help bring about the realization of whether or not you’re settling because it’s what you have or if you’re getting what it is you really want out of a love. Once you know yourself and you standards and priorities have been set the only thing you’ll be waiting on love for, is time. You’ll know the difference between and be able to separate a fun casual dating experience from an enticing chemical romance, an 80/20 encounter from a reversing role 60/40 partnership, and you will easily recognize the boundaries between that that is truly genuine and real from what’s not so real. All of this will become a part of your reality just by knowing what it is you want and accepting nothing less.

True love requires sacrifice, open ends of communication, trust, and a level of commitment and understanding so deep that u can’t even comprehend how far it actually goes. None of these things are even possible unless you are ready and willing for them to allow you to make the effortless selfless decisions that come with all it takes to bare and sustain such a beautiful, unexplainable, remarkable love.

 So you want to be in love, huh? You want someone fighting for and standing alongside your love no matter what? Well then you must know yourself, inside and out, no matter what. –Keara Brown

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