Three rows of faux-wooden tables, cream cushioned chairs and Macintosh computers decorate the medium sized classroom where Kiara Shemberger has agreed to meet for this interview. A thin ray of sunlight illuminates over her already brightly colored bracelets as she strolls into the room fifteen minutes late, a knowing smile on her face. Kiara flops down into a chair and immediately takes a piece of candy out of her mouth. As she pulls out a piece of paper to dispose of the candy, her bracelet makes a faint clank sound against the desk. Apparently the candy isn’t the only thing Miss Shamberger does not like. Displaying a huge mischievous smile, she wastes no time getting into why she has not and never plans to date a dominant-labeled woman.
“I’m just not attracted to them. I feel as though many of them think and act like men. Why would I become a lesbian if I want a woman that acts like a man? I might as well be with a man.” Keeping her eye contact steady with mine, Kiara begins to elaborate on her comment. “I am a lesbian because I love women. I love the femininity that women display. I love being able to help a woman undress and then admire the bra and panty set that she has on underneath her clothing. You can’t get that with a Dom. When do they begin to be feminine?”
Although Shamberger admits that she has never actually dated a Dom herself, she uses the observations she obtained from watching the heartache and stresses her sister and friends endured while dating Doms.
“I would often compare the two [Dom and a Femme] and notice that half of the things my feminine girlfriend did [be openly affectionate] their dominant girlfriend would not. Why settle for that? It’s not like it was just one [Dom in particular doing this], it was every single one of their Dom girlfriends.”
Shifting slightly in her chair, Kiara looks off to the side as if an actual memory bubble was about to appear. She recalls an attractive Dom she met during pride. The thought alone creates a huge smile on her face followed by a deep chuckle. She describes how the Dom approached her, made her laugh and even asked her on a date. But the first thing that popped into Kiara’s mind was the countless nights spent helping her sister’s shattered heart heal.
“Doms are reckless. They just don’t care. It’s all ‘Find a bitch. Fuck a bitch’ to them. Even the ugly ones are doing this! The cute ones you have to actually approach like they think they are too good looking to go after you. I don’t have the time!”
When asked if the Dom that approached her was good looking she simply smiled and shook her head. “She would have probably tried to dominate me though and I’m not about to be dominated by anybody. I like to be the one in control. ”
Apparently Kiara is not the only feminine woman who feels this way. Out of a poll of 50, a staggering 39 said that they prefer ‘Femmes over Doms’ simply because of the overly exaggerated man-ish ways many of them have adopted.
Jamiece Johnson of Queens, NY stated, “It didn’t use to be this way. Back in the day a Dom, AG or whatever was just a woman who preferred to dress as a man but still treated you good like a woman would. Now most of them act like they don’t even have vaginas between their legs and honestly it’s getting old.”
You Can Still Learn Something From A Stud, Though: