Since the reveal of YouTube personality Domo’s pregnancy, social media has been aflame with memes, posts and questions focused around the “complexity” of a dominant lesbian carrying a child. The barrage of opinions ranged from how is this possible to why would she do that?
To offer an in-depth look into the mindset of a then pregnant/now mom dominant lesbian, here is an interview D.I.N conducted a few years ago to show how not uncommon being a pregnant dominant lesbian is (because, ya know, we’re still women).1.) When you first found out that you were pregnant what was your reaction and what were your thoughts?
It was March of 2008 when I realized I had not been on my period since January. I had a casual one night stand with a stranger in Atlantic City. For comical reasons I went and bought a pregnancy test. To my surprise the pink line indicated a positive result. I laughed. I cried. I called my Mommie. My life was already in chaos and this turn of events was the icing on the cake. Many decisions entered my mind. I never planned to bear a child. I’m not bi-sexual. I just had a straight moment.
2.) How did people around you react to the news?
My mom was shocked. She knew my current life situation and a baby would bring more stresses in an already complicated environment. My friends seriously did not believe me. My ex girlfriend knows that I like to play jokes, so she thought I was doing it for attention. My co-workers did not believe me.. Rumors were going around my job saying I was making it up.
3.) Did you find it difficult being a Dom and pregnant?
I was the pregnant man. Obtaining a girlfriend was out of the question. I wore loose fitting clothes and I had a close short hair cut. The only people that knew I was pregnant were family, friends, and co-workers. When you’re pregnant, your estrogen levels are high. I was overly emotional. I craved comfort. I returned back into a woman.
4.) How did being pregnant affect your social life as a Dom?
I remember going to Aqua on a Thursday night with my ex and best friend. I stood by the bar drinking my water as I stared at everyone else dancing and mingling. I envied the life of single people with few responsibilities. I spent a lot of time online chat rooms. However the thought of taking a girl out knowing my current situation, felt embarrassing. So I pretty much stayed in the house watching Family Guy and eating take-out for the duration of my pregnancy.
5.) Was giving birth as difficult as they say it is?
The doctor had to induce my labor, so after the contractions begin, the pain heightened. It feels like cramps but to the tenth degree. I was squirming in the bed begging for relief. The doctor decided to give me an epidural and it was free falling from there. When it was time to push, my baby boy came out after six pushes.
6.) How has having a son changed your life overall?
My life has changed dramatically. Majority of my activities are focused around my son. Besides rent, my other expenses are used for my son. Daycare, pampers, clothes, etc. I don’t remember the last time I bought myself new shoes. After two and a half years I finally went on a date. It was exciting and new. I felt wanted and desired. It was an unfamiliar feeling because I was always in mommy mode. I came off shy and inexperienced. She understood and we are still dating.
7.) How do the women you date react to you having a child?
Every girl I have dated were friends first. They knew I had a child and most of the time they were parents as well. Going on play dates brought us closer. Some girls wanted more attention than I could offer. My son comes first in my life and he is very needy. I cater to him before catering to my significant other.
8.) What was one of the most difficult things you had to endure being pregnant?
I could not act rough and tough like my demeanor resembles. Late in my pregnancy I needed help with carrying things. All I wanted to do was sit around the house. Normally I’m very active but pregnancy takes a lot of your energy and strength. The biggest issue was not having sex. I craved sex. I craved sex.
9.) What was one of the most difficult things you had to endure having a child and being in the role as Dom?
I look at being a dominant female as a character. I’m able to turn back whenever I need to. I become very vulnerable and feminine when I’m around my son. Breastfeeding had a lot to do with it. Some girls thought I was too soft since my appearance mirrored a grown man. Dating became the biggest hassle.
10.) Is the father active in your son’s life or did you prefer to not have him around?
To be honest, I had casual sex with a stranger in Atlantic City. We didn’t exchange information. I don’t know my son’s father. The sperm donor..
11.) Do you plan on having any more children?
I do not plan to bear anymore children, but I really want another baby in my life. I pray every day to find a partner who I can settle down with and complete our family.
12.) What is some advice you would like to give to Doms out there who are expecting or want a child?
Remember you are a woman first. Everything still works down below. You can have a child and still maintain the character you portray. You can become the father of that child if you want to. Personally I melt every time my son says mommy.